“I felt too big for my village. The world was calling, and I went,” says Violetta. She grew up in a small Polish village with 350 inhabitants, where everyone knew each other. But even at a young age, she knew one thing for sure: she would not stay in Poland. She has now been living in Rotterdam for nineteen years and feels completely at home in the city that gave her freedom and where her children are now growing up as proud Europeans.
Love as the reason, Rotterdam as the destination
Violetta met her Dutch partner through a dating site. Their first meeting did not take place in Poland or the Netherlands, but in Egypt. Her husband had a wedding there and she was on vacation. A few months later, they entered into a serious relationship and decided to live together. “I was living in Nijmegen at the time. He worked in Alphen aan den Rijn. We eventually bought a house in Spangen, and that’s how my life in Rotterdam began.”
A city that needed time
Violetta’s first impression of Rotterdam was not immediately love at first sight. “I found it big and impersonal. I come from a village where everyone greets and knows each other.” But over time, the city began to feel like home. By volunteering and being active in the neighborhood, she got to know people and built her own network. “I did all kinds of things: administrative assistance for people with financial problems, workshops for teenage mothers, creative work… That’s how Rotterdam slowly became my city.”
The power of difference
What Violetta particularly appreciates about Rotterdam is its diversity. “In Poland, 99.9% of the population is Polish. Here, different nationalities live side by side. That’s what I always wanted: to get to know other people. In the Netherlands, that’s possible.” Still, she also noticed cultural differences that took some getting used to: Dutch directness, living by appointment, birthdays with just one piece of cake. “In Poland, we put everything on the table. Now I appreciate the simplicity, but I still put everything on the table when people come over.”
A guest
Violetta does not call herself a Polish Rotterdammer or a Dutch Pole. “I feel European. A nationality is a piece of paper; it doesn’t say who you are.” She teaches her children to think freely and choose what suits them. At the same time, she also sees herself as a guest in the Netherlands. “When you visit someone, you don’t just start moving the furniture around, do you? The same applies to integration. You can be yourself, but don’t forget where you live.”
Language as the key
According to Violetta, learning the language is the most important step in feeling at home. “Step out of your bubble. Many people stay within their own circle, their own language. But if you really want to participate, you have to learn the language and connect with others.” She learned Dutch at the coffee table at work. “I deliberately sat with Dutch people, even though other Poles sometimes thought that was strange. But I wanted to make myself understood, to be independent.”